ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
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