it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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