i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
