I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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