haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
There are leaves in my underwear?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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