I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
