so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
