And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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