: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
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