Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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