Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
