my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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