I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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