..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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