well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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