I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
