So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
