Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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