Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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