Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I have already put on my inside pants.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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