Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
