he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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