I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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