It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
