Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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