Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
