Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Also, beer. Big fan.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize