Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
