I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
