We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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