remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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