I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
