I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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