i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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