Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
