I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
