It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
