i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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