hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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