tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
