There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
