Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
