so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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