Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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