YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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