So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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