lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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