therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
