Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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