I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Your topless pictures make me question reality
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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