You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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