Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize