Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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