I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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