dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
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