I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
