if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
