I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
