Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
