My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm getting married
To pizza
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
