Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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