It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
