I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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