I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
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