ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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