11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
