i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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